Worse Luck

Awash in a sea of despair, my eyes red with frustration from what could have been, I try to cheer up and find a way to carry on. There are things that need to be done, not emergency life or death things, but the kind of chores that somehow and sometimes are just what the doctor has prescribed. Cleaning, sweeping the floor, vacuuming the hallways, washing the sheets, fixing the left rear-view mirror on the Honda that I broke when the bike fell over as I jacked it up to remove the rear wheel. Shit like that. Utilitarian and therapeutic. One can Zen out in present moment focus of motion, movement, cause and effect and of course lose the pain of playing the 'what if' game, at least temporarily.

Eventually however, one ends to come to an understanding with one’s self as to the root cause of this distress - and then take structured steps towards a remedy. Assuming of course that a solution is the best course of action for all parties. I have seen many times when the solution is either too hard, too expensive, too slow to arrive or not clearly defined. When this happens the fear that takes command is the fear of change, where one actually chooses to keep the more painful circumstance because it is understood and safe, whereas moving towards an altogether different scenario requires courage, sobriety, truth, effort, sacrifice, forgiveness and hope. 

Worse is when feelings of being overwhelmed and powerless take charge. A more powerful one-two punch to the jaw of doing what must be done isn’t found in a Vegas boxing ring - it is right inside our heads. There is too much to do and I cannot do it all, laments the stricken flyweight, failing to realize that the solution is to do just ONE THING AT A TIME. 

With full focus.

With forgiveness of the past.

Respect for the present.

And gratitude for the possibilities of the future. 

One thing. Sweep the kitchen floor. Wash the car. Clean your room. Prepare a highly nutritious meal. Walk to the park. Finish that book. Learn a new song of the guitar. Call your sister. Go take pictures at the beach. 

You don’t have to do them all at once. So fortunate because you can’t even if you wanted to. DO ONE THING. Do it well. Move to another. 

You lost a game? Figure out why and take the steps necessary to improve the odds in your next game. Hang in there and be patient. Work hard. Stay positive. As Cormac McCarthy famously said: “You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”