It is up to us

It starts with the tone at the top. Anyone who has ever served or worked in a military environment knows this. As do those in government and as do they that toil under the corporate ladder structure of the giant conglomerates. The case can even be made that families, be they nuclear or in organized crime, set their tone, volume and balance from the top spot, where it trickles and echoes downward from the big chair.

I am enjoying a cup of coffee in a secluded area of our local nursery with my brother. He is going through some issues about which I am struggling to find the right words to express my support. I know what this feels like. Sometimes when we feel like hiding from our problems the best thing is to face them head on. Today I am that face. 

It always sounds so easy to tell someone that it is all about attitude and that all one needs is to look at the situation differently. I offer an example for him.

Last night, I begin, after a seriously long day I logged off the computer and headed upstairs for some well deserved R&R. The Kavanaugh confirmation was still pouring salt in the open wounds of my psyche as I climbed the narrow stairwell to my bed. I get to the top, switch off the lights and, FUCK. I have stepped in something. I turn the lights back on to see a pile of cat vomit. It is already seeping through my socks and I am furious. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. Naturally I strip off my socks, head back down the stairs, grab some spray cleaner and a paper towel and re-climb the stairs to do the messy janitorial work. When satisfied I again descend the stairs, flush the evidence and stand in front of the bathroom mirror waiting for the water to heart up in order to wash my foot. I am still mad, furious that the cat had the power over me to not only interrupt my sleep but to cause an emotional response more suited to a child than an adult. FUCK, FUCK. I look in the mirror. And start to laugh. I am laughing at myself. WHAT A WIMP. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A LEADER, A CAPTAIN, A ZEN MONK AND YOU ALLOW A FUCKING CAT TO ABSOLUTELY DESTROY YOUR EQUILIBRIUM???

Ten minutes later, under my warm and fuzzy comforter and above my heated fitted sheet I am still laughing. And that laughter produces even more. I am now so completely engaged in this self-mockery that tears are falling. Cat puke ends bliss of zen practitioner abruptly, hilarity ensues. 

My brother almost laughs along but still wants to inflict his own special brand of self punishment which includes any outward sign of merriment. He then offers his version. He tells me that last night he was so stressed and affected that he had trouble making himself a hamburger for dinner. He said that it was all he could do to keep from throwing the burger out the window and grabbing a beer instead. 

It may not have been the most sensitive response but I asked him if that was the hamburger’s fault. 

Our conversation moves back to politics the point taken. He comments on the SCOTUS fiasco eventually moving to the top spot. He is amazed that people actually like this guy. He is also feeling what a lot others are feeling, absolute helplessness, alone, and pretty well screwed. He asks, perhaps rhetorically, what we can do. 

It funnels down I say. All the way to us, sitting here right now. We can decide to defend our values, honor our deepest truths and keep our lights shining brightly in the name of love and hope. We must take care of ourselves, our families and our communities. We must remain vigilant and vibrant. Here and now. That positivity and production will spread. And one community becomes two, and four, and eight, and then the state, and then the senate and then all the way to the top. But if we quit today, go hide and give up, that is exactly what they want us to do and they win.

It is inverse trickle down. The ethical, the moral, the supportive, the empathetic and the just will rise again.

All the way to the top. So in this case the tone starts at the bottom. It is up to us.