Nice Putt Aliss

It happened once again, this for the third time. I had better try to work it out because I DO NOT want to see it happen again. 

The ‘it’ in question is something that I said. Something I said to a dear friend, and something that she took exactly the opposite way of how I intended it to be. The old ‘don’t take this the wrong way’ warning. A total failure on my part. 

Here is what happened. I had volunteered to cut, spit, deliver and stack a pickup load of aged maple wood for my neighbor. As mentioned above we are friends, I house sit for her, watch her dog when she’s away and she is a member of The Barn. She is also best friends with my landlord, another wonderful woman. We are so close that she doesn’t even knock before entering my humble little cabin. One might, as a result of this background information, think that ours is a solid relationship build on many mutual similarities. Well, evidently I found a way to test that theory.

The day after I delivered the fire wood, having to go to HomeDepot to buy a new electric chain saw for the chore, they were back at it. Cutting, splitting and hauling. Feeling a touch ‘left out’ of the fun I went about my business of removing my Honda’s rear tire in order to fix the flat. At one point I walked past the work party offering a good-natured suggestion to her as she worked the maul, I said, ‘Hit it harder Alice.’ 

Neither she nor Mike got it. Maybe too far a colloquial long-shot. I don’t know. 

Later that evening she posted a jpg of their excellent work to FB. I saw the post after a tedious, painful and frustrating evening of watching the Huskies underachieve against UCLA in the Rose Bowl. I made a rash on-line comment in the same (attempted) humorous manner as the live version earlier. I posted, ‘Hit it harder Alice’. 

And the shit hit the fan. I was accused of being, mostly, derogatory. Derogatory being the kindest, among the other traits exhibited by my (alleged) verbal assault. I was judged to have similar traits to that of the current POS POTUS. THAT really hurt!

I preformed my due diligence in order to make sure there were no hidden references contained in the phrase and found out some interesting history. It is linked here. Turns out it is not Alice at all but Aliss, and, as I suspected, recalls a completely different era of America. When, I think, things weren’t so screwed up, complex and ugly. To me this has always been a term of endearment used between good friends to call supportive light to a less-than-perfect act. In the same league with ‘Nice move Grace’, ‘No shit Sherlock’, or ‘You figure that on your own Einstein?’ type of slangy rhetorical joviality. 

Evidently not. My further attempts to defuse the conflict only seemed to worsen it. I apologized for my error of judgment, called it my mistake, mentioned again that I had no malice aforethought, with no mens rea and zero negative connotation or intent other than to share a laugh among buds. 

Eventually late last night, instead of opening a poll to ask our collective community for support, I came to the conclusion that I am the guilty party. I may have used a verbal slur unintentionally, and with no harm intended, but it was received as such. And in so doing I painted a dark cloud over the sunny and warm beach-scape of our relationship. 

I will apologize again for my insensitivity and callous remark. And make sure that the next time the opportunity presents itself for buddy-buddy sarcasm, everyone knows that is what it is.

Nice putt Aliss.