Presence and Productivity

Let’s play a little game this morning. I’ll ask question and you provide a response. Sound like fun?

Question: Name me a situation or circumstance where positivity and presence are inappropriate as situational negotiation tactics.

I’ll wait.

I just finished a conversation where a women was furious with our state law regarding divorce settlements. Seems she insists that her retirement is hers and hers alone. As calmly as I tried to convey the thinking behind our community property laws, she feels that sharing this with her soon-to-be ex is more of a penalty she must pay than a equitable and fair settlement as outlined by our laws.

I tried to soothe her obvious emotional pain by again addressing the fact that keeping an eye on the bigger picture of leaving a toxic relationship and environment, brokering a fair (and quick) termination of their partnership and moving on to a new, downscaled and improved situation represents growth and opportunity, she remained dug in to her need for a vindictive victory over the bad guy.

Please, please I beg, try to look at this as a positive, what you will gain and the hope for a vastly more harmonious future. Because, know this: The better that your former spouse fares the better, easier, happier and more productive you and your son will be. Should you 'take him to the cleaners', he will have no money or clothes to share with you, or your son. Please have the presence to see this as fact.

Presence, as has been said, is infinitely more rewarding than productivity. Stay as busy as you like but recognize the value of seeing reality as unbiased and bipartisan. The reality of this situation, this challenge, this blip on the radar, is that the law states that you share 50% of everything with your partner. LIKE IT OR NOT.

Accept the facts, see the positive side of the coin, do what must be done and have the situational awareness to see the opportunity instead of the calamity.

Although I use this real-life and real-time circumstance as an example, question one - and the only one - in our game today, I think you see the juxtapositional possibilities.

Presence and positivity?

In a race?
When testing?
When training?
In a terse interaction?
In traffic?
Mitigation?
Conflict resolution?
Problem solving?
Negotiations with vendors?
Dealing with conservative republicans?

Isn’t this a fun game?