Fish, Denmark and Kangaroos

Fish, Denmark and Kangaroos.

The connection?

Struggling with the challenge of attracting sponsorship to the 2019 Epic Ride (now at 2019Epicride@Gmail.com), I rendered the almost infinite list of potential partners to three. One, our local club where I teach studio cycling, two, a restaurant/beer/burger joint in LA, and three, a manufacturer of a product attractive to athletes, with universal appeal and not location specific. I would love to land someone the stature of Ford, Sony or Heineken, but I cannot claim the numbers necessary to even invite them for a cup of coffee. Even with the addition of the trip documentary that could take the viewing numbers upwards to (semi) legitimate status. Sure, I will submit the film to festivals, create a teaser-trailer and load to YouTube as well as promoting the heck out of it on social media, but all this is still small potatoes to the brands that are used to slicing up their marketing budgets with solid gold pizza cutters.

At the club this morning for our 0845 class I decided to try a new twist. Something I have never done before. I’ll re-play it for you here. The intro was about how I can tell a cyclists output and intent simply by body language. Additionally I boasted, I can also, from years and years of practice, read minds along with the messages gleaned from their physicality. I will prove it to you I again boasted, and here is the testing protocol:

Pick any number between 2 and 9.
Multiply that number by 9.
Add those two numbers together. (example: 5x9=45 - 4+5+9)
Subtract 5 from your sum.
Now assign your number to a letter of the alphabet, 1 being A, 2 is B and so on)
Choose a country whose name starts with the assigned letter.
Pick an animal that starts with the last letter of your country.
You should have a country and an animal.
Commit them to memory.

We are done with class and I walk past the office of the boss. She is a very competent owner/manager and we get along well. We have conspired on several tangential projects in the past so I feel confident in asking her for support on the sponsorship.

I provide the broad strokes on the 2019 Epic Ride and pause to gauge her immediate interest before talking price. Without skipping a beat she asks about logo placement on the jerseys and if she could get a quantity for sale at the club. Yes, and yes I respond trying to keep my enthusiasm in check.  I tell her I will run some numbers and get back with a proposal by the end of the week. Cool she says. Driving home I couldn’t get the image of the Old Man and The Sea out of my head. Landing the fish.

With the vivid imagery of Spenser Tracy (as Hemingway) I suddenly connected the physic dots and shudder remembering that there are no kangaroos in Denmark.