Most Painful

Super Eights. I promised them all a reward. This morning was session #15 of 16. With only one week to go, one last set of Super Eights, exactly one week before Christmas, we end the year on a powerful note. The aforementioned gratuity won’t set me back much as the average attendance has steadily dwindled over the course of the ten years we have been doing them. And for good reason. They kill. They are the most demanding high-intensity set currently known to man. Let me give you a comparison. Yesterday as I taxied my pal to the ferry, we were on the subject of childbirth because I had earlier mentioned that I filmed my nephew’s natal day seventeen years ago, and it was near the top on my short-list of video favorites (drawing on the talents of Holly Hunter, Nick Cage and Frankie Blue Eyes Sinatra will do that.) We are negotiating our infamous traffic circle as I glance at my phone to make sure we are on time, when I, for God knows what reason, ask her about the birth of her two daughters, both now very successful young adults living in Alaska and Hungary, respectively. Was it Cesarian? I offer cautiously, wondering if this is taboo subject matter. No, she says, was natural with midwife but I did relent to an epidural for the second. I could not restrain myself so I asked, feigning innocence, because of the…….

Yes, because it is painful like nothing else you can imagine, she says. 

I always wondered, and possibly imagined, about that. I recalled and relayed to her the story about a young woman in a spin class many years ago who started when she was pregnant, took maternity leave, and returned to class about a month later, ready to go. After her fist class back in the saddle I asked how she did and if there was any noticeable discomfort. As she shrugged, nodded and put on a head and shoulders shiver to indicate the presence of ‘some’ discomfort during the process, I took it a step further and inquired if she found the spin session’s protocol painful. To which she laughingly shouted, ’as compared to what…..childbirth?’

This morning as I struggled with the challenging demands of the all-out requirements of the successful super, I thought about both exchanges and how they color my personal perception of my own pain threshold. I cannot empathize with childbirth. I have only the assessment that thirty seconds at max effort is the ‘hardest’, and therefore, also the ‘most painful.’ 

Which I now realize are not the same thing.

There is hard. And then there is painful. Hard is sixteen Super Eights. Painful would be a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Big difference. 

Super Eights, while hard, challenging, demanding and ultimately of extraordinary value, are not painful. They can be done. We have proven this theory many times over the course of ten years and most recently over the last fifteen Wednesday mornings. Additionally, although one sometimes feels that at certain points one might toss cookies, black out or suffer a myocardial infarction, we haven’t lost anyone yet. Except to fear. People don’t show up because they know what will happen. It will test their ability to stay focused, in the present moment, and alone with yourself with nowhere to hide. Given the choice, many would rather stay in bed and not deal with their limitations. Maybe next set. This is the exact opposite of consumerism, sloth, laziness and apathy. Too hard. Let me know when you return to sing-alongs and telling funny stories in class, coach.

Ha ha right. Did I ever tell you the one about the Mom just back from the birthing suite who compared giving birth to……