All of the Above

One trick Christmas question.

Is it more frustratingly difficult to:

A) Try to teach a neurotic dog to obey when she has figured out that the electric fence is broken.

B) Fill out government forms on-line for potential employment.

C) Ask detailed questions of the Department of Social and Health Services on the phone. 

D) Respond to a change of address request from the County Clerks office. 

E) Eat healthy this time of year.

F) Carve time into the above schedule for exercise. 

That was my day yesterday. The trying, filling, asking, responding, eating and carving took most of the short day. Toss in another bout of the ‘weirds’ a recurring symptom of what we have, over the course of the last five years, rendered down through the process of elimination, to be triggered by the aging process. I guess. We don’t know and I have assumed responsibility for my overall health and mental stability. Which is, of course, why I was filling out forms, navigating automated phone systems and responding to bureaucrats requests for updated data. And chasing the dog. 

Eating was supposed to be the easy part but even that got muddied as I really wanted to finish the report/proposal that I promised to club management on Monday. I got half-way and became irritated by the banality of items A through D and before I knew it the sun had set, the dog was gone, there were four more forms to complete, copies to send, stamps to post and my last shot at a run in the park, lost. 

By the time that the dog was found, the forms sent, the questions answered, responses prepared  and the acknowledgement of failures to eat good and run slow accepted, all I wanted was a beer and the safety of the couch. And a bag of pretzels. And a football game on TV. 

If you answered ‘All of the Above’ you win. Congratulations. 

And Merry Christmas.