Another two sides of the same coin allegory today. They are popular. Yet for the life of me I cannot recall exactly where the example, or detail came from. It could have been a book, magazine article, blog, movie, song or conversation. I just spent the last twenty minutes considering this as I enjoyed two scrambled eggs with paprika, pepper corns, pine nuts and queso. I am full but remain without a clue as to the place of origin of the following comparison.
Which, in case you need to wash the car or mow the lawn, is about passion. Meaning that if you are passionate about the detail of your vehicle or the lawn patterns created by your John Deere, please have at it. If, on the flip side, you are considering the premise and how it might get you a pay raise, promotion or a day off, let’s grab Pandora’s box and open the can of worms stored there.
Passion. According to Webster’s, a ‘strong and barely containable emotion’. I think most of us move the emotional needle to the positive side. You don’t hear a lot of people talk about the negative passions (there might be legal reasons why), so let’s keep it on the bright side. There are two types:
1) Harmonious passion. Where there is balance. We do what we love and love what we do. How many of us are currently in the canoe and peacefully paddling along this calm and blissful river? How many of us are balanced enough to risk change? How few of us will make some sacrifice to move closer to the light of their passion? From my perspective, this is what it is ALL about. I don’t care what you are passionate about, but I am magnetically attracted to your effort and devotion. Automatically. In music, sports, poetry, sand castle building, motorcycle repair, politics, travel, science, astrophysics, religion, literature, magic or stop-motion animation. If you bring an honest emotion, desire to explore, willingness to share, intellectual curiosity and dedication to the process of your growth, I AM YOURS. I will do anything to assist you along this path.
2) The flip-side is what the smart gals in the lab call Obsessive Passion. Their definition consists of the extrinsic motivators firmly entrenched on the dark side of the coin. We have been conditioned to value the things that bring us ego gratification, financial success and the accumulation of material objects as proxies for happiness. Madison Avenue (in partnership with Wall Street) has won this round, making us victims of our own success. They have convinced us that it is vital that we work for, obtain (especially if it creates indebtedness) and demonstrate our understanding of success, by having (here we go), a new car in a new garage attached to the new house near the great job with the great view from the corner office in the cool city surrounded by others who live in a similar socio-economic bubble of conservative, heavily insured and heavily protected gated community of people their same color, with the same God and registered with the same party. That is obsessive passion. It is outside. It has no need for the soul. It is constrictive and safe. It is dramatically unbalanced and easy to understand. It has transitioned from passion to obsession to neurosis.
Please do not misconstrue. There is nothing wrong with ambition. The drive for success is a powerful motivator. Let’s make sure that we do not sacrifice our need for balance in the process of living our lives. Perhaps a re-examination of our goals, dreams, commitments and responsibilities is in order.
Maybe we need more passion in our relationships than we need a forty foot yacht. The coin of proper passion can be flipped a thousand times, and the odds with remain at fifty-fifty on the next.
Your call.
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