Deep Consternation

I am in deep consternation. That precarious position between recognition that something needs to be done and the hard place of wondering what it is. Being a solid follower of the theory stating don’t interfere with the progress of others as that path belongs solely to them, I also am firm in my belief that even the smallest indications of support can be the nexus for change. Sometimes, as I do a pre-frontal cortex search for specific fact and relevant precedent, I recall a handful of key moments where someone, a coach, partner, employer, band-mate, parent or even the occasional star-crossed lover, has said or done something to successfully illustrate the binary trajectory from the pain of the past, the reality of the present and the promise of a better tomorrow. 

I wish there was some bona-fide, fail-proof, guaranteed method of accomplishing this objective. And maybe there is. I could, after all, allow my (imperfect) unconditional love and relentless search for truth shine through a muddling amalgamation of rhetorical musings, an epistle in the modern vernacular, or a business letter formatted to the personal. Some simple, honest, lightly veiled attempt at asking the elephant in the room to please move along. The fact that this pachyderm has been grazing in the savanna of my consciousness for so long that I see it as a natural part of the landscape gnaws at me every day that the sun rises on the Serengeti. 

We all have disagreements, differences of opinion and personality quirks that, if left to fester unaddressed, become threads in the fabric of our lives. We have all negotiated some sort of compromise to avoid doing the one thing that needs doing; To forgive. And then to find the courage to move along while simultaneously asking for similar action from the other. To offer an olive branch in the hope of:

1) Adding additional content to our piece of mind, doing the right thing, and possibly saving another persons life as they hopelessly wallow in depression, addiction or any seemingly overwhelming, impossible predicament. 

2) Through our courage, conviction and action actually make an impact and orchestrate positive change. 

No small challenge. Like demolition, something needs to come down before being replaced by something newer, better, more stable, more efficient. 

As of this writing, I have three people on that list. Two of them are relatives, the third a close friend. They are three very difference circumstances, yet all share a common evolution leading to their current dilemma. 

What unites them, the immaturity, instability, fear, phobias and neurosis, all come about from inadequate positive responses to adversity. Or in one of the cases cites above, from being too kind, too generous and too forgiving. How paradoxical can it get when the solution is to dummy-down and wrestle with the very pigs who caused the initial conflict? Oink. 

I wish I had more skill in matters like this. I wish there was a go-to manual where I could look up ‘words to empower the clinically depressed’ or ‘how to light successful fires under the sedentary’ or ‘enlightened evictions of deadbeat meth-heads’. Not even the Google tool is sharp enough for this task. 

I will take a stab at it. I will author a short and hopefully concise one-pager to each of the three and send it off with a sincere offer of support. I have no idea of how much this might help. But it is something I feel I must do. 

Someone once did it for me. 

Something I appreciate very much to this day.