Well, this is weird. Not sure of when I entered, but I am currently back in A-Fib. First symptom to surface was the always delightful light headedness. Followed, per normal, by dizziness and finally the tell-tale heart palpitations and arrhythmia. By the time we got going with our Wednesday morning spin class, heart-rate monitoring looked more like a pair of juiced monkeys playing naked beer pong, or as I sometimes joke, today’s heart rate forecast will be alternating highs and lows of between 240 and 60, so be sure to advance scout a soft landing spot.
At one point in our set I had the rather somber thought pop onto the scene as how utterly embarrassing it would be, for a studio cycling instructor attempting to lead a group through a high-intensity hour ride, all the while peppering them with motivational cues, such as today's emphasis on courage, to suddenly fall face forward (still clipped in) and die from cardiac arrest. I guess it would only be humiliating until the paramedics run out of battery power on their AED, but time long enough for red until turning blue. Fuck I hate this.
After feeding and working the dogs, a bowl of lentil soup and a nap, my shoulders are still shaking with the irregular, syncopated, beats. It’s like missing two, stockpiling blood and then shuddering an explosive release. It shakes my whole body. In response I try to relax down to the 70 BPM when my pacer is set to activate. When I hit 70, the bloody thing releases a jolt of electricity designed to regulate the frequency and re-establish sinus rhythm. It is not working today. Or maybe the jolts are what I am feeling and not the heart itself. I. Don’t. Know.
Oddly I got an e-mail message that there is a new letter in my in-box at the UW Medical Center. I wonder what that could be about?
I would go and check right now but my borrowed wifi signal is so slow today that I can barely read the latest imbecilic lies and shockingly evil ramblings from everybody’s favorite buffoon before losing the signal. I will try again.
And probably take another nap before working the dogs again, heading out to the PB and then flowing into Thanksgiving's spin set and Friday’s 111th Apple Cup. There is a lot going on, tons to do and a thousand things to be thankful for.
Make that a thousand and one.
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