My 15 year-old nephew, with whom I have been lifting weights, running, riding and basically coaching him towards a better understanding of the value of fitness, announced the other day that he was considering not playing baseball this season, his freshman year in HS.
Of course I asked why. As sympathetic and honestly as I could.
He relied that it was simply too much of a time commitment, and coupled with his four hours of homework, he felt that one or the other had to go. I let it be and we moved into our progression.
That was Monday, this morning as we began 50 bicep curls with a 30lb dumbbell, I coaxed the elephant out of the room and asked if he wanted to talk about his decision some more.
He gave me the same response, the too much time gambit.
I looked at him askew.
Sensing the meaning, he said, what?
I said, flatly, that's bullshit.
He shrugged perhaps indicating that my opinion smelled equally as rank as my comment.
I continued, using the 24 hour clock to graph the hours available to us each every day, with the conclusion that even with 4 hours of homework, 2 hours of baseball, that still leaves plenty of time for leisure (video gaming), eating and household chores.
While he didn't buy it 100%, my goal was to get him to honor, respect and develop the good habit of decision making. The most important rule being to make sure that your decision is for the right reasons, not some lazy excuse to do, or not do, something. Sometimes simply restating the decision without a view to pleasing anyone else can help you discover what’s true for you. *
Because, I rambled, life is for living. To do stuff. To play, to dance, to sing, to visit, to explore, to try new activities, all in the hopes of one day, the sooner the better, finding your gift, the true calling of your soul. And you don't find any of that in your bedroom playing GTA.
After our bench set. I told him that whatever his decision, I am squarely in his corner, on his side and willing at the drop of any cap to go to bat for him, because that is what friends, pals and teammates do. But, trying to wrap it up on a positive note, in order to be a teammate and give and take that power, one must first be on a team.
We hugged to seal the deal.
I have no idea what he will decide. However, learning the process and developing good decision making habits is a skill that gets precious little attention.
I know, I have made some horrendous ones.
Pictured, l-r: Junior, RG (Dad) and Brother Michael.
* From Dharma Wisdom.
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