Balance

46.

Can we peacefully coexist? As important a social question as this is on the global scale, it represents the struggle, the challenge and the opportunity I manage on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. On good days my management style, an interesting hybrid of drill instructor kick-ass intimidation and compassionate, soul-searching hand holding, is easy. There are the obvious situations where one of these textbook methods is the appropriate approach. And then, there are the gray areas, the cracks, the between the black and white. Character and experience should dictate which to try when facing a new or novel circumstance, but, much like our constitution, there are loopholes, interpretations and innuendo. As the oldie suggests, “Fools rush in where wise men never go.” My endless search for meaning, understanding and literal translation, can be, perhaps should be, rendered into a deeper, clearer, more utilitarian and precise definition of one word.

Balance. 

Can I, can you, can we all find a place on the consciousness scale that allows for two completely different personality types, along with their dominant characteristics, ramifications and manifestations, to find honor, respect and temperance in harmonious sharing of space and time? This, to me, creates both a mystical perception as well as a magical reality. For the balance I seek requires continual input from each side; The warrior side desperately seeking perfection and the shaman side patiently awaiting enlightenment. 

The result required to balance the pair is the scale. There is no doubt how far the scale tips when we are engaged in an operation. Ninety-nine percent is active, aggressive, focused yin, with a tiny margin for error or even doubt. Ah, but it is in that one percent that we hear the soft, nurturing, compassionate and awakened voice of the yang asking for a better, more advanced option. Same with the ninety-nine percent of the meditative, flowing, kindness scale that keeps an eye open to the one percent existence of power, strength and confidence. When asked which side of the scale is most important to the awakened warrior, the yin side or its shadow opposite yang side, the master correctly replies; Both. One simply cannot have one without the other. 

This is the balance we seek. I can be, I must be, an elite mercenary warrior standing between totalitarian fascism and a free functioning democratic republic. I must be at peace with death. I must be one hundred percent committed to my mission and my team, no matter what and no matter when. I must make sacrifices and concessions to this commitment that others are not willing to make. Yet, in the time between, what in exercise physiology we call ‘recovery’ I must flip the on switch and become the person who walks through the sands of time without leaving a trace. The bedouin monk in deep meditation with the wind and the water, becoming one with all sentient beings in the promotion of peace and loving kindness along the path to higher consciousness. 

It is, I consider again, much as night is to day. The darkness of midnight balances the extremely high probability of the sun’s joyous return. This yin/yang reality, where one celebrates the other- with natural flowing respect and appreciation - is the scale I seek to deeply accept as harmoniously balanced. I might be flawed. The scales might swing wildly to one side or the other, but my search to accept the imperfection of this imbalance is my practice. It is such a lovely paradox to balance.