Joyous Exertion

The open is an update. Today is Day Eight. Yesterday even managed somehow to top Sunday as ‘most miserable’. This was accomplished by adding the insult of atrial fibrillation to the injury of a deeply compromised viral infection. It seemed that on each labored inhale and scratchy exhale the charged atoms controlling heart beat frequwency would over respond thinking that more is better. There was no balance, rhythm, flow or normalcy other than my recognition of the imbalance, arrhythmia, blockage and abnormality. After class it was the best I could do to shower, drive home, climb the stairs and lay down.

Finally in the early afternoon, I felt strong and calm enough to try a visit to the loo. That was about the extent of my ability to care for my sorry self.

And today, a mere four days from race day, I sit and contemplate the decision at hand. It is fairly simple, go or no-go. I could easily choose to DNS. I could opt to start and then face the humility of a DNF. Or I could compromise my current understanding of the differentiation between courage and stupidity. I could tough it out and tweak my definition of victory from the successful defense of my title, to merely finishing, just making it back alive. I think that decision, while it would be nice to have it solidified by tomorrow, might come down to Friday, travel day.

The good news is that I do feel better this morning - but all that has physically entailed is making coffee and the obligatory news feed scan and the effort of keeping the streak alive (blogging every day). Not exactly a speedy 10K before breakfast.

Update updated, I would like to comment on last night. Being unable to sleep I read. It was 0300 when my eyelids finally felt heavy enough to close them. It was, however, time well spent as an important bit of information was passed from the author of The Buddha Walks Into a Bar… Lodro Rinzler, and my humble practitioner alter-ego. He carefully recited the nature of the six paramitas or transcendental actions. (As I read I am drawn to their timely presence). They are: Generosity, discipline, patience, joyous exertion, meditation and prajna (superior knowledge). As the author began a detailed examination of each, citing examples culled from real world situations, I began to create my own.

Grading out in the middle of the bell-shaped curve on every one. Except the one may that may quite possibly possess precise prescient powers.*

Joyous Exertion.

* With apologies for the excessive alliteration.