Proving Ground

The proving ground of my soul. 

Last night we had cancellations galore. When the time had come for our 2x20 session to formally begin, it was just me and one other. My philosophical beliefs, coupled with my coaching mission statement, called for me to segue from group think to individual, private, personal one-on-one. 

Going through the normal preparations and procedures I addressed the situation, offering the standard primary objective to the intrepid athlete present for training. She is an experienced and capable cyclist, but sometimes succumbs to one of everyone’s training banes, commonly referred to as taking the easy way out. She could have used to circumstance as an excuse to quit, or see it as an opportunity to spin the scenario to her default habit of opting out. 

I was impressed that she choose the higher ground. So much so that I was inspired to follow suit and decided to up my wattage output to its highest level in some time. Quite some time. That number where every pedal rotation is an act of sheer will power, when finding the ‘groove-zone’ lasts about five seconds before the reality of the resistance and its direct impact on muscles, legs, and lungs brings one out of the saddle to regain an appropriate cadence. It is a fight to the death in an unforgiving arena of suffering. Anyone who has spent quality time on an indoor trainer knows exactly of what I refer to in this example. 

You either have balls in the air or your act is over. There may not exist in this world a more disheartening scenario than the absolute physiological defeat one suffers upon making the decision to quit. And it is a decision. The “I cannot do this anymore’ statement is one made in the mind, not the body. Your body can, but not without the partnership of the mind. Yet the most interesting part, to me,  of this is the unspoken element - because nobody has yet to come up with an objective method of measuring the role that the spirit plays in this specific scenario. 

Consider: You are hammering away ‘somewhat’ above your comfort zone, seeking that ethereal place of heavenly rhythm and flow known as the groove-zone as your mind reinforces the power your corporeality is producing. You spirit is smiling in approval but still very objective in its benevolent analysis. Suddenly, for any number of valid reasons, your rate of perceived exertion enters the crimson zone of danger. A code-red neural SOS is fired off to your brain. The message is clear: Slow down, reduce resistance, avoid pain. This is the flight response in the classic fight or flight option. Now you have captured the rapt attention of your spirit because you have upped the ante and engaged the potential of both great success and growth, or equally great defeat and failure. Your spirit is eagerly waiting for your response to this life-changing emergency situation. 

And you have the choice. You can cash in your chips, cut your losses and head home, or you can go for broke. 

We go for broke by engaging the spirit. Asking for the order. Acknowledging the elephant in the room with respect and awe with a ‘let’s do this’ attitude. This is the proving ground of the soul. A place most folks, even the well intentioned, seldom go. The cost of admission, the steps necessary to courageously traverse along its challenging path, the prerequisite training and preparation, the ceaseless practice of mind and body refinement, the sincere faith in the process and the purity of heart necessary for entry, is simply too much for most. And so we give up and go back to the safety and numbness of our easy chairs. 

Next time you are at your peak, working with gumption and gusto, take a closer look under the hood and see if your motor is truly firing on all cylinders. If you are convinced that it is, ask your spirit, as a second opinion, if it agrees. 

I think the answer might surprise you. 

As my answer surprised me last night.