The Magic Works

The beautiful thing about starting from scratch, staring at a blank page, is the exhilarating adventure of exploration. Today, despite having created a short list of topics, I am heading out on the scary path of improvisation. I have no idea where this road will lead me. But I like the freedom and challenge of taking the first step. And trusting that the direction will be true and the destination rewarding. 

I do this early today because my wifi is out. I am not connected to the web, the wide world outside my red door. I have no current information on what level of corruption the trump administration has sunk in the last 12 hours (although I suspect that it is deep), I don’t know what the latest odds are for the Huskies to win the Pac12, and although I patiently wait for that day when a personal message will appear in my inbox authored by one of my former lovers, subject matter: Availability for lunch, my breath is not being held. But today could be that day. One never knows.

Without the usual round of information gathering, I start with e-mails, then two culture magazines, International, national and local mainstream left leaning media sites, and then FB. That usually consumes an hour of my mornings, a gluttonous routine even without desert. Today, I sat out on the deck in 39 degree crispness and had enough bandwidth to connect to CNN for about 40 seconds. I found that the world continues to spin and its inhabitants are mostly unruly and ready to riot. Same old same old.

The heart issues that kicked my butt yesterday, seem to have dissipated with the overnight respite, although I have central chest discomfort again. Feels like acute acid reflux mixed with pleurisy and pericarditis. The scary part comes with the short stinging jolts of dagger-like pain in my chest along with the pressure build up and throbbing in my neck and temples. Most of the power in my arms and legs is vacationing somewhere and my quick recall of specific fact is fading like a Maui sunset. 

On today’s menu is video editing. I take the same stream of consciousness route with video that I take with writing, trusting that the cosmos will take me to wherever art lays hiding. Lifting a quote from Little Big Man, ‘Sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn't.’ Considering that there is no financial attachment or responsibilities with either endeavor, I have tried, both are rendered squarely into the realm of the therapeutic and soul satisfying. I like doing them and that is enough. Kinda like the way that running used to be. 

As I was surfing video yesterday in search of motivational tubes of inspiration, I did manage to lift a rather juicy quote in the process, 

“IF YOUR GOAL IS TO GET TO THE ISLAND - YOU MUST SINK YOUR SHIP.” 

Here we are back on the island of the future that we never left. What we do, what I do, is nothing more that the sum of everything that has gone before. Everything has led to this day. EVERYTHING. 

And THAT, my dear friends is an awesome responsibility. Can I love more today? Can I up my happiness game and pay forward the same in others? Can I tap into the creative imperative of eternity? Can I self diagnose this horrible physical challenge currently limiting my search for joy? Can I find a way to turn my passion into an honest buck? 

Will my inbox contain a surprise? 

Authors note: The wifi was back on when I ended this delightful exercise. And there was no surprise.