At its best the gathering of information is a good thing. At its worst it can drive us batty, downing in despair, jealousy or resentment. Recently I was offered an essay on the topic of comparisons. As in how it is borderline evil, totally unnecessary and ultimately dangerous. We have all heard the pithy adage, ‘to compare is to despair’, and so we heed the warnings that proclaims comparisons to only set the stage for later disappointments. The Buddha’s Four Nobel Truths speaks of desire, craving and attachments as all leading to suffering. All true I believe, but…..
…..they, an honest and altruistic comparison, can have beneficial results. With the caveat that one must not allow the comparison to progress into the traps of envy, greed, hatred or disillusionment. Those are the traps that ensnare us with the very real human tendencies to opt into a negative as a result of our analysis. He is stronger than I am, I will never get to that plateau, so I might as well quit and go play me some Xbox, or, she is so beautiful and talented, I will never be able to achieve that level of stardom and success, so the hell with it, let’s party. My home is worth more than your seedy compost heap of a house. In these common and banal examples, comparison has lead directly to fear, inaction and the reinforcement of self doubt. I see it all the time.
I see it in the athletes I train with, the athletes I compete against and the athletes in training that I counsel.
WE ARE ALL IN THIS SAME BOAT TOGETHER.
In different stages at varying points and progressing at different speeds. It is all, to quote Commander Collins, an experiment of one, and that one is you, grasshopper.
So let’s compare. Let’s select a wholesome and evolved role model to compare ourselves to. Let’s compare the methods, habits and approaches the champions use. If your role model, inspirational speaker, motivational mentor, or action hero has assets, physical, emotional or spiritual from which we can lean, they qualify. Compare your habits, discipline, depth of knowledge, courage, faith and dedication to theirs. By all means. Just don’t be devastated upon detailed review that you are facing a long row of effort to hoe as a result. However, if you can use their success or stature to propel the search for your own advancement, get after it!
I will never forget my first reading of Dan Milman’s incredible work, Way of the Peaceful Warrior. I was so moved, inspired and ready for change that I immediately began to put many of his ideas into play. I made daily comparisons to his protagonist all in contrast to my personal struggle. Realizing that I was failing more often than winning, the thought that I was the only one keeping score paved the way for a continual improvement scenario where the awareness of the struggle became more worthy a goal than a subjective recap and result of each test. I was in it for the flow, a truthful and sincere dance with life. I remain so. Dan calls this the House Rules, a giving back or forward payment, when one converts this knowledge to the wisdom of oneness and harmony.
Am I despondent because Dan is a better writer, better gymnast and better overall human being than I? No. It serves me no good to compare and self-berate. It does me good, however, to use the analysis to support my relentless pursuit of something so dynamic and ethereal that words cannot adequately describe. It is light, energy, love and quality in one focused breath. I remain all in.
If I want to emulate someone, ape their skills and employ their techniques for my own growth, I would start with copying their practice. How they work, their walk and their talk, the contrast between my now and their here. What are they doing that I am not? And vice-versa. These are not ordinary moments, they are magic. And they are here. Waiting for everyone of us to notice and act.
Go ahead and compare. Be ready for an eye opener. Use it as a positive. Run your own race, put your personal stamp of approval on your efforts and use the courage and guidance of those that have run before us to add additional motivation to your efforts. Do not despair.
Compare.
No comments:
Post a Comment