Two for Two

174.

Using a familiar statistic, the batting average, I admit that my testing to date is hitting a thousand, two for two. This afternoon's at bat will test the true ability of the Verometer function of The Helmet, as perhaps only a wicked curve-ball can.

So far we have tested the program's ability to discern good poetics from bad, admirable policies from profiteering ones, popular culture trivia (that road in Rome offering myriad destinations) and several minor tangential aspects linking them.

Today's testing trifecta concludes with another scantily concealed attempt at trickery; The philosophical. Thee premise being that should the Verometer be capable of differentiation in a category renown for subjectivity, we might be on to something. I suppose next I will ask if there is a God, and if so, what she was thinking when she created man and his eventual evolution into metaphysical thought. I am confident that one of the reasons was NOT so she could be entertained by men hitting (or attempting to hit) a small sphere hurled from sixty feet and six inches away.

I need to be careful with this one because the very nature of our jobs consists of violating, on necessary occasions, several commandments, tenants, rules, paths, philosophies, cultural mandates and laws. It is, as a footnote, our sworn duty to use this power for the sole purple of enforcing our own guiding text known as the Constitution. With this oath in mind I set abut to author the language of today's test. Adding another layer of subtlety, I try the first person narrative format.

"It is imperative that during the process of this investigation that my methodology presents a non-threatening and sophisticated appearance to the persons or persons being investigated. I need to be smart, talented, street-wise and connected in matters above and well beyond the average. I need to be a walking encyclopedia and a talking Google machine, capable of philosophical exchange, political commentary and popular culture familiarity. I must be competent in math, science, physics and art. I must be fluent in major religions as well as special weapons and tactics. Two commonly misunderstood concepts offer important clues in the search for meaning, and hence the answers to a thousand years of introspective analysis. They are:

Karma.
Forgiveness.

It is said that Karma is about intent, not about doing. This explains why the solder is innocent of murder, but the politician who ordered it, guilty.

We forgive not to grant the perpetrator absolution but to rid ourselves of the weight of carrying the immense emotional burden of holding the verdict in our hearts until time when the the confession is complete. It is more for us than for them.

With this in mind I submit that the meaning of life is to find happiness and that our mission, especially in regard to the current assignment, is in keeping with the intent of all non-violent philosophical doctrines and universal laws."

Again I place the digital recorder's external speaker into the Helmet and gently tap the play icon. I listen to the treatise and upon completion wait the obligatory two seconds for the response from the program.

"Base hit. Continue Your Practice."