Whew, it’s not even noon today and lots has already happened. With your kind permission I would like to recap a couple of the situations and circumstances that have caused me so much inner drama this drizzly June day in the Northwest.
As I am house and dog sitting, the first night in new surroundings is always a challenge. I am now more comfortable with it but still wake during the night asking the rhetorical, where am I? Last night, after an early retirement and a couple of chapters, the aforementioned (and pictured at right) dog stands downstairs by the front door whining. I know what she wants and after a minute of two of clearing mental cobwebs I stumble down the stairs to let her out. I have a choice here, I can ‘trust’ her to go pee quickly and come right back, or leash and chaperone her to ensure the time spent outside is short. It is one o’clock. I let her go and she immediately takes off like a greyhound chasing a rabbit. I trudge back upstairs, grab my comforter and make camp on the couch, leaving the french doors slightly ajar so she can nose one open to re-enter. She finally does this at two, leaving me with a precious two hours before the alarm. I never really went into deep REM but when the all-too-familiar chime sounds from my phone I feel oddly relaxed and recovered from yesterday’s 5K.
En route to the kitchen to make coffee I pass her sleeping on the center landing of the stairs and stop to rub her long, floppy ears. Then I am off for the first of this morning’s two spin classes. Despite an outstanding performance by the team I totally blow an opportunity to engage afterwords with one of my favorite classmates. I ask her how she did, as I always do, and she smiles broadly and says, ‘it was fun, thanks.’ My retort, or the surprise in my voice must have unsettled her because that million dollar smile turned to a two-bit frown faster than you can lose your life savings in Vegas. It was supposed to be HARD, I say failing in my attempt to walk back a totally insensitive remark. I wanted to stick around and apologize but needed to get going to let the dog back out and create the set list for the second class, just an hour away.
Good musical compilation I think as I drive back down the gravel lane, dog chasing my truck. I assemble a class profile as I navigate the two miles back to the club. Going to call this one The Great Pyramids. Simple ramp up, adding a gear every thirty seconds till the summit at twenty, all seated. Break, with a 7/120 acting as a serious descent as well as recovery, and then repeat same format standing. All-good, great class, it is finally over and despite going briefly into A-Fib at the start of the second set, we all make it through.
I am talking with a long standing member about sleep, heart arrhythmia and stress management, offering her an introduction to the meditation of breath counting as another of the regulars steps up to offer a comment on the class. I can see that she is a little perturbed. Seems in my haste to assemble the music, create a profile and develop tangential thematic commentary, I failed to mention that the ‘descent’ portion of the workout was actually more of a free fall (7/120) than a ride back down the other side of the pyramid, making it a right and NOT the isosceles triangle I kept eluding to as imagery.
As hard as I tried to sell her on the intended metaphor, she wasn’t buying. Poor execution on my part.
I shower, grab a coffee, log the class and head out to my truck. I keep wondering what the heck had just happened. And happened again. Twice I whiffed. Oh for two Maynard.
Could it be that I am evolving into an over-sensitive, thin-skinned worry-wart? In my zeal to please everyone and orchestrate protocols that allow everyone a level playing field, am I, as a result, pleasing no-one and (again) catering and pandering to the demographic that provides the most consistent positive feedback? Am I being, as I freely admitted, a sucker for a sappy pop tune with a catchy melody (it was Hey Soul Sister) as I am for a pretty face? Can I still take it as much as I can still dish it out? Is this a learning moment?
And it’s not even noon.
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