Something Worth Consideration

122.

CHAPTER FIVE

Having long ago come to an understanding with the concept of success and failure, I cannot shake the negative emotional impact. True, we had foiled the MBI plot, but it came at the expense of two agents downed in the line of duty. 

In the aftermath of the botched assassination attempt and its painfully morose cleanup, the reality of our new world slithers to center stage. I feel as if the innocence we once cherished has rudely been shown the door, replaced by a totalitarian capitalistic model of bottom-line power. Government has gone from ‘by the people — for the people’ to ‘by the lobby and for their profit.’ It sickens me to acknowledge this horrendous change of American values, noble democratic ideals we once fought and died for. 

They ask us to remain non-partisan in the performance of our duties but I find it becoming harder by both the degree and the day. Perhaps my time of service has run its course. Maybe it’s time to leave all this to the next generation. I could walk away with deep satisfaction and an impeccable record of forty years of fighting the good fight. I see myself in retirement, riding my bike, building a cabin in the woods, reading and writing. These fleeting thoughts come and go with more frequency now, something I take as a gentle prodding from the universal consciousness of the collective spirit, that higher power of compassion relentlessly urging us — or is it just me? — at the very least, to do no harm. And now two men are dead as a direct result of my actions, or inaction. 

Big decided, with a loaded Glock at can’t miss range, to surrender. The classic thinking for mafia thugs, especially management, is to let their lawyers and corrupt judges get them off the hook. Interestingly, Drysdale reported that during the chaos Her Majesty was the only member of the audience who remained seated, as verified by GPS. Since the insertion she had acted courageously and to the letter of our instruction, moreover, she had not blown her cover, perhaps even bolstering the possibility of a promotion to a position of greater responsibility with the MBI, quite possibly even as replacement to her newly imprisoned former boss. 

Julie had also been superb in her decisions as field agent, a skill at which she once excelled but for the last ten years moved into crucial administrative work and the occasional chopper piloting. Her quick thinking and situational awareness had not only captured the purp but saved my life as well. 

Every member of our team had performed admirably under the extreme pressures of the mission, Drysdale in particular continuing to exemplify a particular competency for complex protocol management. 

My debrief is scheduled for tomorrow, Saturday. I need to clear my head and arrive with a calm and balanced perspective. In another interesting twist, the latest addition to our administrative staff, a Desert Storm veteran and recent graduate of the Quantico FBI academy, will be taking my debrief. 

“You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing,” once aptly noted Dale Carnegie. 

Something worth consideration.