Tools

Things change. Stuff happens. We age. 

How not to do it

Along this path, our personal road to redemption, we have options. Always. It seems to me that one of the most important tools in our kit is the one designed to make good choices. Call it the decision caliper, choice hammer or option wrench, it is only as good, as all tools, as the craftsman in whose hands it rests awaiting assignment. There must be a plan, some schematic or blueprint, a set of assembly instructions to follow for the craftsman, us, to use the tool for the purpose it was designed. Hammer meets nail, caliper shows circumference, wrench torques bolt. The adage attributed to Abe Lincoln, ‘If I had an hour to chop a tree I would spend the first 50 minutes sharpening my axe,’ is particularly appropriate here, as the message of this post is abut what happens, or what should happen, prior to our hero craftsman deciding what tool is best for the job. 

The job today is pretty simple. Sure there are the usual chores, routines, duties to tend to as well as the more esoteric, joyful and creative ones. But is seems to me that more and more I am sidetracked, distracted, floating further away from my goal like a dinghy adrift in an uncaring sea. 

I need the right tool for this job. I know from experience (and You Tube) that alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex, money and power are not the right tools. I have seen the damage that is done when these cheap knock-off, plastic imposters are used in the attempt to ‘fix’ underlying ‘problems.’ 

If stress is the problem, what is the proper tool to use for repair or replacement? 

I am going to suggest that while we must all make that decision for ourselves, and admit (under oath) that I am guilty of the evening beer ritual as a relaxation tool, there are better alternatives to numbing-down our senses as stress-busting tactics. 

We all know about exercise. I am a junkie. We all know about hobbies. I have been a wanna be artist for four decades. We all know about art, literature and music as soothing, relaxing and inspiring. Some chose church, dogma and the search for spirituality. I practice Zen.

And therein lies the message of the tool. My tool of choice to combat the seemingly endless onslaught of bad news, hatred, bigotry, racism and overt governmental corruption, is the tool of meditation. 

There was a time in my life when this practice was formal, a time when it was consistent and a time when it was abandoned. Now, I practice a morning ritual that, at the very least, allows me to start each day on a calm, present and peaceful level. Shit will happen, tempers will flare, dogs will bark, crimes will be committed, sure, but I have that tool at my disposal. It is the one that I choose to ‘fix’ the myriad ‘problems’ that face me, and us, today. 

I need to start with fixing myself. I need to be calm. I need to relax. I need clarity, gratitude and forgiveness in myself if I am going to lend them, like tools, as coping mechanisms to others.

Start here. Start now. The technique is called counting breaths. I do this every morning before rising, before my feet hit the ground. Rest as deeply relaxed as you can. Take it to an altogether deeper level, let go. Then take a deep diaphragmatic breath using only your nose. Move the air as far down towards your belly as you can. Hold it there for a extra beat and then exhale through your mouth. That is one. The practice is to get to ten. WARNING: Your mind will wander, you will lose track of what breath number you are on and find yourself lost in a fantasy daydream. Do not despair, simply start anew and continue your practice. I do not allow myself to get out of bed until I have done ten. Sometimes this is easy, sometimes not. Just breathe and count your breaths. No judgments about anything. 

Consider yourself a master craftsman. They use the right tool. Build the best you possible. One day at a time. 

Good luck.